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Dear Readers, IV

No preamble. Too much I want to answer...

Your average desi belongs to the middle class (or at best upper middle class) who is normally an engineer who lived (or lives) a hands to mouth existence... Most of these people do not and will not break the law: Be it in USA or India.

Crime related to class? What next? Racial cleansing...?

Are there nationally set standards for dough consistency, roti thickness and flavour that everyone abides by? I don't take very kindly to Ms Bhosle's unjustified claims about Rotichef's popularity with NRIs, consequently and blatantly implying that NRIs are not very culinary.

If you believe there are no standards for dough consistency and flavour -- whether of roti or pumpernickel -- your mom can enlighten you on how "culinary" you are.

...write on the BJP's inability to function, constant negotiation with its partners, the Dalits vs Ranvir Sena, Shiv Sena's atrocities, etc etc. But hell you will not, because, the Senas can get you, which in turn explains your wimpiness!

Braveheart, have you considered protesting the reinstated peace in Bihar...?

I feel embarrassed when I read her absurd illogic on the net... like I would feel embarrassed if I were to watch Amitabh's Jadugar with some American friends...

Mazheruddin, I'd have felt more mortified about belonging to the creed of Khomeini or Saddam or Osama or Gaddafi...

And amplified bhajans, amplified suprabhat, amplified gayatri mantras, amplified bhakti songs (from movies!), well these are all for public entertainment?! Yeah, it is a social service I guess, for all those poor who can't go to movies, or posses music systems!!

Quite right, Hindus are a charitable lot. Consider the burqa-ed numbers who drew serenity from Lord Krishna's interventions in Barjatiya's HAHK...

Nocturnal iftaari setups? The said "nocturnal setups" take place INSIDE homes, INSIDE Mosques, and INSIDE or AROUND restaurants.

Er... that includes all of Bombay's Mohammadali Road...?

And the restaurant and thela setups, let me tell you are patronised as much by the Hindus as the Muslims (you guys can't help it... Muslims cook too well!!).

I agree: Hindu cooking sucks. Like Mosies' grasp on reality.

Are you saying that during the procession, the Shias actually make sure that they spray only the non-Muslims with "god-knows-what-not"? DO you mean someone actually asks you if you are a Muslim and sprays you with this deadly stuff if you say "No"? And what exactly is this dreaded stuff?

As a passer-by, I once underwent the trauma of being sprayed with blood during a Muharram self-flagellation parade. Nauseating sight and smell... Sweets, when you bring up a "Kali puja and what-not", be prepared for an offensive: Me no Diwanji.

I guess you do not want to talk about the healthy, healing, nice stuff that gets sprayed on Holi, and the Diwali fireworks, that fill our collective Indian lungs with their fragrance and smoke...

Where else will Hindus do what we must? Afghanistan? Pakistan? Saudi Arabia? Iraq? Push off to Iran if you don't like it...

"Sweets, do something about Dawood Ibrahim & Co. Then Hindustan won't need so much policing." So you mean, because India has to spend money on countering Dawood's mafia, that should be added to the Indian Muslims's bill?!!

Since you resent paying tax for internal security, aren't you just the kind who's necessitated it?

I think we Indians should first execute and get rid of the so-called nationalist people like Varsha and parties like the VHP and Shiv Sena who are a threat...

This, from a dingbat who also claimed to stand against the KKK...

...a Syrian Christian from Kerala. My ancestors were among the earliest Christians, they became Christians before the West became Christian.

Oh no. We-are-the-pure-original syndrome...

Either go elsewhere or refute her in a logical manner apart from saying what she writes is all trash. Otherwise, your antipathy wouldn't really matter.

My phone number's in the email, Murali...

You can afford to hire armed guards for your home and family members. Maybe the police commissioner (or a goon squad) is only a phone call away so you can protect yourself... from the consequences of the very acts which you may support.

Sure I wouldn't be out "acting"? Do I strike you as a passive gal...? I move and shake and twitch and groan and scream and scream till I...

Why are you bitching about the responses your articles receive? This is what you asked for... Take it, or leave it. But, just don't complain.

Who's complaining?! I'm thanking dweebs for giving me an easy week's earning!

And... can you tell me if she is married? : )

And that should deter you...?

I demand Varsha Bhosle's resignation!!

Good try. Now go back to sleep.

I read her Dear Readers III piece, which is full of bullshit. I usually never try to match her writing style.

You can't. Takes talent.

In her "Dear Readers III" piece Varsha Bhosle claimed her earlier column "A Recipe for Talibanisation" included this paragraph, which I apparently overlooked. This is what she had to say: [para on Rushdie]. And then she had this to say to me: "Thick, yes. Blind, too"... So I went back to her "A Recipe for Talibanisation" column and read it carefully, looking for this paragraph I supposedly missed. It's not there!!! May be she writes a version for herself and sends another to the publisher... So I call Varsha Bhosle a shameless liar who would do anything to save her face...

So it's in one before Talibanisation (Dear Readers, II). So big deal. So you may not be physically blind. So big deal. Hardly relieves you from being thick: If you weren't, you'd have absorbed my entire opus before crossing me...

I demand an unconditional apology from her to be published in your website.

Hahahahahaha...

...our dear elitist has based many an article, even this one, on some report from some unheard of paper or official mouth pieces of political parties. And she wouldn't budge from her arm chair even for that. Talk about haram ki kamai!

Columnists ain't the infantry. Our halaal bit lies in analysis and shooing away ignorance. Like, informing dipweeds about newspapers outside their cramped vision.

First, because you have a hidden agenda of seeking political prominence (maybe, a Shakha Pramukh or a Rajya Sabha seat) through the Sena.

Actually, I'm aiming for a liaison with Uddhav. Or Pritish. Or...

I can't imagine you soiling your hands among the leper community. Bet you have only held a pen in them.

And other tools even I couldn't possibly mention here...

So, while the ToI is a rag hell-bent on distorting the facts in order to establish the BJP's guilt on the front page, Rashtradeep is a newspaper committed to reporting facts that are the whole truth (of course, we must also redefine "truth" to suit our lady's likings) and fie on those who dare to think otherwise. Reason and rationality have never been associated with the motley group that this person represents and she strives hard to prove that. Well done!!

That's IT? That's your entire argument? Shouldn't you be indicating why Rashtradeep shouldn't be believed? Didn't you mention "reason and rationality"...?

1. I hope Rediff kicks her out...
2. Hats off to Rediff for employing her...
3. Is it that Rediff can't find better writers?
4. Hope Rediff listens to its readers and gives her the boot...
5. This writer should be taken off the staff...
Rediff guys, please get rid of this person...

Don't on-line pinkos have anything better to do than wage an integrated campaign against a poor, vulnerable girl eking out a quiet living?

Does she know about what kind of person Lord Byron was? Behind his angelic looks, he indulged in the worst kind of lechery and gross sexual depravity... For Ms Bhosle to anoint Byron as the paragon of virtue makes her look awfully naive and ignorant...

Why would I applaud the virtuous?? KEEP 'EM AWAY FROM MEEEEE...

I guess she does want people to understand what she is talking about. So she would do very well to proof her article once or twice...

Wrong. I'm resigned to the fact that people have different levels of IQ.

One other thing to say: I have been a teenager for quite some time now.

Ah! That explains it...

A journalist can be effective even without using Americanism. PG Wodehouse is the most sold author in Madras -- I am happy. You probably want the "excitement" and the "realism" of Sydney Sheldon...

Thank you for illustrating my subject of Base Instinct.

Totally juvenile neologisms... cusswords... alternately bashing up fellow columnists (Rajeev Srinivasan, Dilip...)

The rest, cool. But Raj?! My work is part of our pillow talk!!!

...caustic bilge. That's the stuff your columns are made of! Why even bother to change this rabble-rousing recipe which has become your trademark? Why interfere with a formula that works?

Who, me?! I'm striving to continue in my mode! There, there, don't cry... I know how frustrating it is; I know how eminently readable I am...

I still feel shame seeing the ads of tampons on screen. Varsha must have been feeling elated and proud seeing these ads with family.

Shikhar Srivastava, you were born because your MOTHER had the ability to menstruate. You may have sons and nieces because your WIFE and SISTER can bleed. It's as natural as defecating. Do you feel shame seeing ads of flush cisterns, wc's and laxatives? I think not. For I know chauvinists. Without menstruation, there'd be no people -- so take that [quotation] and stuff it.

I can imagine when, about 20,000 years ago, seized by a strange impulse the first civilised caveman first started cleaning out the dirt and bones from his cave, a cave woman told him, "&%#$!! All the others have such filthy caves, how can you alone choose something better? You're so hypocritical!"

Question is, did said caveman also start imposing his hygienics on the others? If so, he was the first PC caveman. See, he had the right, the choice and the ability to not enter a filthy site. He had none to get another to clean up her act...

It's ur space, it's ur opinion, it's ur mind... Above all, you are getting paid for what you write... Hell! Can you ask for anything more?

Yes! Exlax for you!!

Community/Caste are different from religion. In any event, you totally miss the point -- my comment was that your reactions "to reader responses specifically allude to the respondent's community in a very mean-spirited way."

I'm glad I don't have your expertise in community/caste. It’s what's caused chasms in Hindu society.

"Shankar Venkataraman = Madru". Now how did you make that great leap of logic? How do you know that I was not born and brought up in "Aamchi Mumbai"?

Simple: You'd have known that ghaatis call any Southie a Madru. We're an equitable people, you see.

...you must seriously consider attending a course in basic civility.

Louts are so used to dishing it out to stoic scribes that they can't handle a sharp slap back... From a girl, too...

Just because someone is willing to publish whatever you write does not mean that you are some kind of demigod whose views must be lapped up with reverence and humility by your readers.

I'M NO DEMIGOD!! {i'm a goddess}

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