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Dear Readers, II

Back when I used to write ranting letters to editors, I never dreamed that one day, people would be yelling at me personally regarding current events. I suppose it's because of the Internet; I could name any topic at all -- say, the charisma of Sitaram Kesri -- and we would instantly be at each other's throats over it, even if we weren't totally sure what "Sitaram Kesri" is. WHAT'S IT?! You know, the beauty who grew so proficient at wielding the zhaadu in readiness for the Shroud that he was freed to graze higher pastures...

1998 was a momentous year for me, too. 'Twas a time that my near ones will remember with misgivings. What to say? The shit never stopped hitting the fan. Take, for instance, my so-called career: Twice was I forced to resign from my sole newspaper -- in February, because the powers that be wouldn't accept a legitimate piece on ToI's Ashok Jain; and in November, when I bore the brunt of The Sunday Observer's sparkling new policy: Nothing Must Alienate 10, Janpath. Ashok Jain, I said to myself, chalta hai... but a compromise for the Shroud? Not! A "free press?" Hahaha... Very funny.

What's it about the Italian? Why would Tavleen Singh, in India Today, ask, "What is wrong with us? Rarely have I, in my many years as a political journalist, seen such a national outpouring of adulation... Every time I write about Sonia Gandhi, I receive a minor avalanche of hate mail. Some letters attack me for daring to call her Italian. Some tell me that I am jealous of her beauty..." Well, old gal, we have a pretty good idea about what's wrong, in'it? Give you a clue, of Italian origin, befittingly: Castrato.

I wasn't the only one to come crashing to the ground. So did my favourite tycoon, Richard Branson -- in his ELEVENTH attempt at circumnavigating the world in a hot-air balloon. I do admire his Virginal optimism, but I wonder, WHY would anybody want to spend even a week in a balloon hovering over Mongolia? What do they do when they must pee-pee? But does anything stop them? Oh no! We are soon to hear from guys who will, get this, fly on the outer edge of the atmosphere. In a BALLOON.

Back home, Bharatiya sabhyata was best exemplified by the Bihar CM's public speeches: "Bhandari ek payr se langda hai. Bihar ke log uska dusra payr bhi tod kar usey wapas Delhi bhej denge" (Governor Bhandari is lame in one leg. Biharis will break the other, etc). Rabri Devi also asserted that A B Vajpayee and L K Advani are "naamard." Hmmm... if the gentlemen failed to respond suitably to any advances, who's to blame them...?

The entertainer of the year surely was Subramanian Swamy. A few gems from his dramedy: "The RSS is preparing the entire temple edifice to be installed in Ayodhya on December 6, 1998, as a prefabricated structure" THIS IS BORING MY SOCKS OFF! So, without much ado, let's do a Dear Readers, Part II:

Anything relevant that Varsha said in this article could have been said in 10 lines! Such a waste of space.

Such a novel mail...

Don't know what to say about the column. Half of it was quotes. The style just irritates you and the contents get lost in this... One correction: the film Bombay was not taken away because of Muslim protests... Maybe she should learn her facts better.

It's worrisome to learn that quotations confuse you; er... are you allowed to surf, dear? Here's some advice from auntie: Try not to use constructions like "she should learn her facts better;" they're annoying. And, to where was Bombay taken? Timbuctoo?

One keeps wondering what is it that she wants to write. Is she for or against the ban? You think she is against it, but the twist in the end leaves you baffled... Any protest against the action of Shiv Sainiks needs to be lauded. What she has done is given it a communal angle which is totally unnecessary, and diffuses the issue... Nevertheless, her article needs to be widely circulated. We need more liberal people to come out in the open and successfully fight the onslaught of these narrow-minded rightist nitwits.

Now I'm baffled! If my stand is unclear, why should the article be circulated? If I've given it a communal angle, why would it enthuse liberals?

Tch, tch, tch... Of the 14 paragraphs constituting the article, you were "baffled" by the sole one indicating the hypocrisy of the Mosie litigants... Can you indicate even a sentence elsewhere with similar import...? What does that say about you, dear? Obviously, "rightist nitwits" may not be taken as prejudice against Hindus of a certain colour.

More significantly, WHAT is the issue diffused? Is it freedom of expression and choice? Or is it just the lynching of the "rightist nitwits"...? How the slips show...

BTW, the "twist in the end" is a common literary device called the sting in the tail. I see that it flies past, ah, some readers.

It was Bal Thackeray who said that Bombay would not be allowed to be screened as it portrayed him in poor light. Mani Ratnam had to go begging to him and agree to changes to release his movie... Any intelligent person with a sense of history will realise that communal and racist policies are always accompanied by goondaism and anarchy.

Here's one more who "should learn his facts better." Sweetie, instead of going into Christian paroxysms upon reading "Bal Thackeray," you should've absorbed the news. In March 1995, Mani had been severely criticised for pre-screening the film for Thackeray *AND* Muslim leaders. The request had come from the director.

Here's the story: The movie shows the imam responsible for Muslim unrest breaking into tears post-riots. The hypocrites didn't, but Thackeray did demand the removal of a similar scene depicting the saffron leader going into melodramatic repentance at the communal carnage. One cut. Only then was Bombay released. Post-release, the movie was withdrawn after Mosies indulged in, er... nice-nice acts, like bombing Mani's home.

BTW, how come you ignore the fact that Rushdie's The Moor's Last Sigh -- portraying Balasaheb as a "political cartoonist and supremo of neo-Stalinist inner structures of Mumbai's Axis; a lascivious, woman-pawing, goggle-eyed, foul-tongued, slobbering, frog of a man who likes to caress naked men under the guise of kusti" -- is freely available in Saffron Maharashtra? Or can't you absorb that which could make you think...?

I really wonder why you persist in printing her column. Apart from spewing poison, they do not have any journalistic merit.

(This, from the person above.) Now you know why. A little enlightenment goes a long way...

Religion should be practised in your own house. Don't impose your likes or dislikes on the society.

I agree absolutely. Which is why I oppose namaaz on the streets, azaans on loudspeakers and state-funding for religious junkets.

You forget that there are hundreds of millions of Hindus who are untouchables today in India steeped in the caste system of systematic institutional racism and segregation, and these millions are a product of Hindutva religion, custom and tradition.

Yeah. But what are Muslim OBCs? What are qureshis and ashrafs? Did Hinduism lump caste on Islam? And if so, why do Muslims continue with it? Where there's Man, there's social class: Don't blame Hindutva for it.

It's the overwhelming poverty, population and propensity for fanatical ideas to flourish amongst the poor illiterate Hindu masses that is the problem you and people like you should be addressing.

Excuse me, when demanding concessions, Muslims claim *they* are the poor illiterate masses. So why not take this advice to the Shahabuddins and Bukharis and Masuds...? Better yet, why not begin a signature campaign against Osama Bin Laden or Abu Salem? Or, does fanaticism not exist among Mosies?

But she cannot use this to conveniently dismiss the matter of providing sources in support of her (wild) conjecture in an earlier column of "overextending of concessions" to minorities. We still need a data-based analysis of the monetary values of concessions exclusively given to different communities.

You likeee stats? In 1997, Rs 42 crores were earmarked as subsidy in the national budget; but the civil aviation ministry came up with a bill of Rs 93 crore for Haj operations. That worked out to about Rs 12,000 per pilgrim (from taxes that I, a kafir, contribute). The damage to Air India was more serious: From a fleet of 28 aircraft, AI diverted 5 for eight weeks; this lasted till 23 May, resulting in the cancellation of 10 flights a week to Europe and North America... Let me see if I can put it simply: Muslims -- state funding for trips to Mecca. Hindus -- not even rickshaw fare.

In 1994, the government introduced the Waqf Act Amendment Bill, which provides for the eviction of tenants of all properties owned by Muslim trusts if the lease is more than a year old. What would the "secular" reactions have been if the Bill had laid down that tenancy and rent control laws would not apply to property owned by Hindu trusts...?

In August 1995, Narasimha Rao announced the earmarking of Rs 500 crores for a bank lending *only* to NON-Hindus. What would the "secular" reactions have been if crores were reserved only for Hindus? Are they any such banks? No.

In 1993, the Supreme Court, judging on a writ filed by the All-India Imam Organisation, directed the Centre to frame a scheme for payment of salaries to at least 3,00,000 imams. Narasimha Rao set up a committee to examine the implications of the judgment. Attorney General Milan K Banerjee, when consulted, felt that state governments not having been heard by the court, was itself a case for moving the court; also, some of the directives were such that if complied with, the government's action WOULD NOT BE SECULAR IN CHARACTER.

The committee decided to abide by Banerjee's opinion. But in December 1996 -- when elections were just around the corner -- the PMO informed the committee that it did not approve of a review petition -- thus turning down the counsel of the attorney general of India. Whence came salaries to imams. Hindu priests -- not.

But to get to the point, do let's hear how a mortal can lay out "a data-based analysis of the monetary values of concessions" -- when the scrapping of TADA, reservations on religious grounds, the backtracking on the UCC, the banning of The Satanic Verses, the preservation of illegal immigrants, the ignoring of forced conversions, the hedging over the court case on the Babri, yada, yada, yada, are the extraneous concessions.

Fact is, there are NO monetary concessions given exclusively to Hindus as a religious group -- whatever the state of its components. So stuff it, pal.

Varsha Bhosle