rediff.com US edition: The Indian-American pie


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June 13, 2000

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The Indian-American pie

Rohini Balakrishnan Ramanathan

Supposedly all roads lead to Rome but many an expatriate wants all roads to lead to Home. With this column at my fingertips, I feel I've returned home although the popular belief maybe, there is no going back home, ever! The last time I was home in the literal sense was in 1997. But this arm chair travel through this column may not be such a bad alternative. I plan to visit you once a month with my Indian American Pie, the generic title for this column.

For those of you who don't know me, I'm a mother of two teenage boys, a 20-year-plus resident of a New York suburb, a management/HR/communication consultant with a corporate and academic background, a singer trained in Indian classical music who sings almost everything under the sun and, last but not least, a free spirit. As a person I can be very nice but I can also be quite nasty. However, since I made self-growth a big priority in the last few years I'm less and less uncharitable. To the handful of you who may know me through my writing elsewhere, a rediff.com salaam from me.

After my one single article appeared in The Hindu, September 1, 1996 under the name, Rohini V Balakrishnan, this is my first Indian writing venture. My belief is I must try to understand the Indian mind fully before I can comfortably connect with it. This should happen eventually just like everything in this world eventually falls into place. So if you show some patience I hope to write things that you can indeed relate to and then it'll be one unending party, I'm sure. In case, you are wondering if I am not an Indian, too, yes, I am, by birth and by appearance. Of course, I've been mistaken for a few other nationalities on this multi-ethnic side of the Atlantic Ocean much as this has hit me as an oddity. Anyway, now that original Indian core of mine has been layered over even pentimento-style, perhaps, with many other experiences I may or may not be an Indian in the true sense anymore.

When rediff.com asked me to write a column, I must say I was thrilled but I also wondered where I must start, which topic I must tackle first, which one of my hats I must put on first to think up ideas to write about. Thanks partly to the brief yet useful input from a visiting long-lost college friend of mine from Bombay recently who a few months back had tracked me down from my writing on another site, in the coming months, I will probably write about:

Some of the curiosities that I encounter from the local population when I make my musical, and cultural presentations before them and show videos of India (no, the questions are not to do with my bindi and how sexy the saree is, anymore).

What about the American culture that I love the most and I hate the most.
The different life styles of my Indian friends, my "Americanized" Indian friends and my "other" friends.
What does it take to raise kids in America?
Going back more than 25 years in time what was life in America like for Indians back then as opposed to now?
And, oh, yes, and also what's this New York minute and New York state of mind?
My personal take on the imported Western ways and ideologies at work in India.
The Indian American media; the American media.
The Indian influences in countries I have visited (example: Morocco).
And many such curiosity items and then some.

Ah, yes, in addition to topics, I also need to decide on the tone (funny, clever, cute, irreverent, etc.) and the posture (authoritative, grand, humble, bumbling, etc.). These also should fall into place once you and I have a better feel for each other. As for length, I've been "groomed" by the New York Times columns for the last 20-plus years.

There, I read one of my favorite columnists, Russell Baker (another absolute favorite columnist of mine is Maureen Dowd), remark years ago that according to his Times editors, what a columnist cannot say in 750 words s/he need not bother saying. I myself personally like to be able to finish reading a column in a few New York minutes. So to make a long story short, my Rediff columns also most probably will not be rambling essays or holy pontifications. Whenever I cross the line please do bring it to my attention. Something tells me that undoubtedly you will.

Over the years, since I was 19, I have been writing about many things. It's through writing that I even met the love of my life more than 20 years ago. For a couple of years in the mid- to late 90's I wrote a weekly column called Chat Room for a New York-based Indian newspaper. This column for the most part allowed me, among other topics, to comment about the New York Desis as I perceived them to be. Something about the power of writing, it's therapeutic for the writer as well as for the reader it seems. After Chat Room was launched how many of my enemies became my friends! Of course, my friends becoming enemies is a different story! The first group (enemies) did not want to be trashed by me anymore, so they became my friends, the second (friends) took things I wrote in general personally, and so began to suspect my motives in being their friend. Hey, you win some you lose some, the key to understanding the mysteries of life!

A pen can really rule I've come to believe even more staunchly than I did when I was a Literature major at Jesus and Mary college in Delhi about a quarter century back right after which I moved to the US. Now I write a Love column on http://www.sulekha.com and I must say I love writing this column because I am also a great believer in the power of love in its many-splendored form.

So here it is my intro piece, my maiden offering, my first foray into a brand new arena, Rediff.com's readership. As months roll by I hope to get many dialogs going via The Indian American Pie I plan to serve you with pleasure.

Next: Woman with a view

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