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The other side of midnight

Once again, a warm welcome to our valued readers. With on- and off-field news from the cricketing world flowing at an exciting pace, we bring you this second edition of the Not-cricket news.

First, from down south. Pat Symcox was up before the King Commission yesterday, painting Bad-boy Cronje in further prison stripes. By Symcox's story, it appears that the mild transgression from devout faith that Captain Rand confessed to isn't all of the story. Not very many years ago, the errant chief sought the consent of all - yes, all - his teammates in an attempt to fix a game, only to be thwarted by the refusal of two teammates, Andrew Hudson and Derek Crookes, to play along, as it were. Crookes in shining armor? Thank you, Sir Derek, Sir Andrew.

More news on Skipper Rand; an old warrior resumes the defense of the indefensible. Bob Woolmer has changed his mind - again. His unflinching support for Hansie Cronje, briefly erased as you'll recall, has resurfaced. This time, however, the appearance of modesty has been shed, since that led to a fall-face-down the last time. Instead, Bobby's now got a different take, which runs like this. "Come on, guys, there are scoundrels in other teams. So ours is the local version. Let's do a Warne-Waugh and move on". Warne-Waugh, no doubt, resent the comparison, but daren't protest, I'm sure.

As for Captain Rand himself, he is up before the King Commission shortly, his religious advisor in tow. A random poll of one person, however, revealed that the public is clearly against this move. And the word is that Hansie ought to lose the pastor. The whole goody-goody act is definitely wearing very thin. To put it in the words of one respondent, the matter stinks to high heaven.

From above the equator, more lordly matters. Mr.MacLaurin has appointed himself guardian of the game's integrity. Recent reports indicate, however, that before this job can be his, his Lordship must take a simple test. The question is - Have you ever concealed from the public any information on match-fixing that may have been brought to your attention by Mr.Christopher Lewis, or anyone else? We are told that aside from the two choices available to him - these being (A) Obviously, and (B) Certainly - the humble servant of the game has added a third choice, namely (C) Nevertheless. Clearly New Labor's clean-sweep of the dummy lords hasn't been completed.

And at home, the silence of the innocents continues amid an unexpected controversy. The National Commission for Breast Feeding is launching a new campaign to inform all new mothers that mothers' milk is not detrimental to integrity. The Commission has reportedly called off talks between its Board and public relations representatives for Indian coach Kapil Dev, citing a lack of intelligent deductive capability on the latter's part. In the words of Commission chair Mommy Devi, "Character is not imbibed through mother's milk, nor is it absent when breast-feeding is set aside." The commissioner added that all mothers should watch for signs that their babies need milk right away, and crying is the most obvious sign.

Finally, to a disturbing charge. Rediff executive editor Prem Panicker yesterday joined a growing chorus of protest that some cricketing bodies around the world are acting as racists in pursuing investigations into match-fixing. Disgusted with the MacLaurins of our beloved sport, he alleges that the cover-ups and half-investigations are being passed off as white lies as best, when in fact they are blackening the name of the sport.

Until next time, then, folks. Stay tuned for more of the not-cricket news, brought to you by Rand-om Money, the #1 financial management solutions provider. At Rand-om Money, we help you put your money where your greed is. If you're thinking of building a fabulous resort home on the shores of southern Africa, look no further. Simply call 1-900-4HANSIE. Must be 18 or older, gambling is restricted by South African law to responsible adults. Each call costs South African Rand 4.00 per minute, cell phones maybe charged a higher rate.

Ashwin Mahesh