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The writing on the wall...

I have this watch. A fully transparent, designer number. When I first got it -- as a gift, actually -- I used to keep peering at it, watching the workings work. Was fascinating for a bit -- then it became monotonous, predictable, boring.

The Board of Control for Cricket in India is a bit like that watch. Rather intriguing when you start out chronicling their doings... but pretty soon, it becomes all too predictable, too incredibly boring.

L'affaire Nayan Mongia is a case in point.

Throw your mind back a bit in time, to when the team was announced. The BCCI secretary said... *hastily biting my tongue, remembering certain denials*... correction, rephrase that to read, certain officials gave the media to understand that they were not too happy with the team as picked. Two wicket-keepers should have gone, they said.

Denials, anyone? No? Fine, let's move on.

MSK Prasad is mildly injured, ahead of the Adelaide Test. The team asks for a replacement, specifying Samir Dighe. Surprise, surprise -- instead, they get Nayan Mongia. Who had been considered, and ignored, by the national selectors, and who found himself in Australia courtesy the board's fiat.

That the first thing Mongia did on getting to Australia was ask permission for his wife to join him there -- with the board paying for the passage -- is another and, for here and now, irrelevant, matter.

Prasad recovers. And stands in the Adelaide Test. And shows no sign of injury. Meanwhile, the Indian team has 17 members where they are supposed to have only 16. The spare wheel's tab is picked up by the board. Which, we are given to understand, is so concerned about beefing up the strength of the Indian side and making sure it has full backing, that it is prepared to allow said 17th member to continue -- despite strong signals from the coach and captain that they are fine with Prasad and don't really need a passenger.

But then, what do the captain and coach know? It is all well for them to say that Prasad has recovered and they don't need a substitute keeper. But the board -- like a good parent -- knows what's good for the 'boys', better than they do themselves. So said board, in loco parentis to the Indian team, decides not to accept anyone's word for it.

The board has seen Prasad keep, and bat, over the four days and a bit that the Adelaide Test lasted. The board has a report from the physio, Andrew Leipus, that Prasad is fit. The board has the assurance of the coach, Kapil Dev, that Prasad is fit. All the board needed to do was recall Mongia.

But no. The board -- naturally having the best interests of the team at heart -- is not satisfied with the evidence of Kapil. Or Leipus. Or even of their own senses. They now want the Australian doctor, who treated Prasad, to submit a written report -- no faxes, please, just put the report in mail -- testifying to the keeper's fitness.

We are impressed. Very. It would seem that the board is learning.

For instance. India goes to the West Indies, under Sachin Tendulkar's leadership. The captain blasts the selectors for sending him against a team predominantly made up of left-handers, without a single off spinner in the ranks. That criticism is met, on the part of the board, by outrage.

What! Don't you know there are norms governing these things? You can only take 16 members -- that is all that is allowed. You can't have a 17th member!! *shocked look* *mutters of this is what happens when a young man, not yet 25, is put at the head of an international team*

Then Srinath gets injured. And Noel David is sent out. The only instance perhaps in history where the pace bowling spearhead is replaced by an off spinner who doesn't even bowl regularly for his state side.

Come the World Cup. And Nayan Mongia is injured. He has a hairline fracture of the finger. Dr Ravindra Chaddha, the doctor appointed by the board -- Of course he is qualified, he is a doctor, has his own practise, he has also played cricket at the state level, so he knows both, medicine and cricket, such an asset, you see -- takes a look, says ah, no problem, just some swollen tissues, and applies some Amrutanjan. As the tournament progresses, Mongia is obviously struggling. But there is no talk of a replacement -- you can't have more than 16 members in the team, don't you know that, dummy?

It will be recalled that ahead of the World Cup, this column had suggested that in the interests of the team getting some decent practise, it might be an idea for the board to send a few seam bowlers along, to the Indian camp.

That suggestion was met with shocked expressions. That, we were given to understand, was the problem with the media -- we didn't have a clue how things worked. I mean, you can't simply send a few extra bowlers for practise, what is wrong with using the local schoolboys to bowl to Sachin and the others in the nets, as preparation for facing Glenn McGrath and Wasim Akram and the rest of the assembled battery of the world's best bowlers? Do you guys know what it costs to send an extra player there?! Hah!!

Yeah, well, we did send an extra scorer even though the TCCB and the World Cup organising committee was providing one anyway, but that is a different matter, we didn't know if the official scorer provided for us was competent enough to record scores the way we like and are used to, see? It was not -- no way -- an excuse to give an all expenses paid junket to a favoured official, perish the thought!!

But then, who said the board can't learn from their mistakes? They have, you know. Having realised, through experience, that there are times when a side could do with a 17th member, they sent one.

And now the side -- with the same captain, what's worse! -- indicates they don't want him, thank you very much.

I mean, have you ever heard of such ingratitude?

Only the unjust, the mean, the petty-minded, would remember the statements a certain board official made -- at this point in time, I don't remember if that statement was later denied, there have been so many statements, and more denials, that you can't blame a guy for losing track -- to the effect that Mongia should have been in the side.

Only the unjust, the mean, et cetera would think that having failed to get Mongia into the team officially, the board seized on the first chance it got to send him there via the back door.

Only the unjust, the mean et cetera would imagine that the sudden spate of stories in the media, speculating on the possibility that Mongia might be asked to open in Melbourne, were planted -- *again hastily biting my tongue* -- correction, I meant inspired by sections within the board (The Indian team management apparently didn't buy into that one though, did they? At Tasmania, Mongia was -- so media reports went -- supposed to open. He didn't.)

Only the unjust, the mean, et cetera would think that having got him there, the board is now trying every delaying tactic it knows, to keep him there. That this, and only this, is the reason why they have now asked for a medical report on MSK Prasad -- because they know that it will take a week at least before the report is procured and mailed, that once the report is received, they can delay a bit longer, on the pretext that the executive committee has to study the report and the working committee has to study the report on the report submitted by the executive committee, that the two committees then have to put together a guiding committee to decide on the next course of action, that a qualified doctor has to be found, and asked to examine the medical report and certify that it is genuine, that...

And by then, of course, the two remaining Tests will be over. And Mongia will still be there -- not even needing to carry out the drinks, because they don't make a reserve wicket-keeper the twelfth man. And, who knows, maybe Prasad will get injured again. Or drop a few catches. Or not make runs. And somehow, some way, a reason will come up to keep Mongia back for the one day series as well.

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