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Let us not punish ourselves any more

Violence is bad. But when it occurs in the name of religion, it is despicable and should be condemned by everyone, regardless of religious affiliation or sympathy.

As someone who lost a family member in the communal violence of Gujarat, I understand exactly the agony and pain of those who have lost their family and friends in the Swaminarayan temple shootout at Gandhinagar. For me and my family, it is suffering the same pain and trauma all over again.

Our heartfelt condolences to those who lost their loved ones in this senseless violence. Attacks on innocent people in itself is abhorrent. Attacking a place of worship is inexcusable. The culprits must be found and punished with the severest penalties allowed by law. May God give the families of those killed or injured the strength to cope with the pain and the courage to lead the path to peace and tranquility.

In the aftermath of the brutal killing of my father-in-law Ahsan Jafri, I had visited Gujarat to support other family members and friends. During that time, I visited several relief camps in Ahmedabad. Seeing me at the camps, hundreds of Muslim youth would gather around me and speak about how members of their families were targeted, brutalized and killed. Stories of rape, mutilation and burning would repeat from person to person.

During one such meeting, as I was listening to their woes, an Ambassador car pulled in. A 13-year-old girl was taken out in a semi conscious condition. Her clothes were torn and blood stained. We were told that her mother was killed and she was being raped and mutilated when she was rescued. The pain of those around me suddenly got converted into anger and a tide of revengeful talk broke out.

For several minutes, while the shouting continued, I did not speak. I could not. I was also afraid to say something which could be construed as being insensitive or against the sentiments of the angry youth. Giving them some more time to vent their anger, I raised my hands in a gesture to say something. The gathering became silent. The boy standing next to me, Qasam, twenty something, had lost his wife and child too. I asked him, "Where is your son?" He started crying. I asked the rest, "Many of you had children; where are they?" There was quiet.

Seeing the tide turned, I continued, "What do you people want? Do you like it as it is -- your children dead -- or would you have liked to see your children going to schools, coming back home, giving you hugs and giving your lives a purpose?" Still quiet.

Sobs could be heard now. It did not take much time for the effort to take them away from the mindset they were entering -- the mindset of revenge which may take away many more innocent lives including their own.

I realized the need to engage those youth with positive talk and an agenda several more times in the coming days, to make that change we seem to have achieved permanent. The fact that I was not going to return to the camps again was troubling.

My biggest worry was what would happen when I was gone and when those boys would again come in contact with other extremist groups who would challenge them with their hateful agenda and rhetoric of revenge. Also troubling was the fact that there were too many camps where the youth and others who suffered needed proper counseling.

I appeal to the people on either side of the communal divide to uphold peace and avoid the temptation for retaliation or revenge. Remember what Buddha said, 'We will not be punished for our anger. We will be punished by our anger.' Let us not punish ourselves any more than what we already have.

As I have found -- and many know it -- it is not difficult to change the mindset of ordinary people. Let us change it for the good of our people, regardless of their religion or race. Let us not allow several groups who see the opportunity in further fanning the communal fire for personal or political benefit. It is a challenge to our intellectuals and social workers to start the campaign of educating our fellow brothers and sisters to be positive.

If we fight extremism with extremism, what will remain will only be extremism. Let us not allow that. In the face of what has happened in Gandhinagar, that task has become that much more difficult. But let us take the challenge to ensure that the rule of law prevails and justice is served.

Najid Hussain, son-in-law of former Congress MP Ahsan Jafri who was killed in the Gujarat communal riots, lives in the US.

The Temple Attack: Complete Coverage
The Swaminarayan sect

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