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Room at the top

When I don't have a stunningly original or abrasive insight to an event, I avoid commenting on it. Thus I was hesitant about the coup d'etat in Pakistan. That the nation's great helmsman would be deposed by its Bismarcks, was a foregone conclusion. Even the US government was aware of it; the State Department warned the country's "political and military actors" against overthrowing the elected government. An operation so well-planned had to have had plenty preparation, and the spooks must have sniffed it. That Brigadier Qureshi stressed it to be a "spontaneous reaction," means it wasn't one. The only question that remained was, when. Now, the question is, will the ousted helmsman come out of it with his neck intact...?

Pre-Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto, I'd have said, yes. Simply because I'm used to a democratic polity. But I'd never have said: Pakistan can't be so stupid as to kill politicians who are unpopular or have already been unseated! For that's an incognizant response from those who've no clue of the mullah mentality, which follows a rationale without known terms. In any case, do you care about Sharief's neck? I don't. Sure, an Islamist military rule in Pakistan spells grave implications for India. But how much better off were we with democratic governments across the border? Whether under Benazir or Sharief, Pakistan's proxy war continued unabated -- indeed, it intensified. Now, there's a fair chance that the mad marshals will want to finish what they began with Operation Gibraltar... In the face of the breast-beating by our ever-pacific, I say: it's great to be gifted a chance to end it for once and for all. Laathon ke bhooth baaton se nahi maantey.

Going by media reports, the people of Pakistan seem glad to be rid of Sharief: There's no public outcry; in fact, there were celebrations in many areas. No commentator has questioned the army's rights and motives. That bimbo Imran Khan has hailed the military for preventing Sharief from becoming "a dictator." Even Zulfiqar's daughter hasn't condemned the unconstitutional overthrow. In short, they all back a sacked army chief against an elected prime minister -- much like a small and perverted section of Indians vis-a-vis a sacked navy chief against a defence minister. That is the moral and intelligence quotient of Pakistan's people. It's evident, only rocket scientists left India en masse during Partition. No point in worrying about them: A country deserves the whipping it gets.

So now the great and the good are saying that George was right after all and that the Kargil infiltration was the army's baby. Any number of defence experts, here and abroad, went on record saying that since the COAS was Sharief's hand-picked man, the government must have had prior knowledge. The Musharraf tapes were one indication that were wrong; the coup is a conclusive one. However, I never needed proof -- I'm blessed with woman's instinct. George may have shot off his mouth needlessly but, as I kept saying, he's an honest man. And that species is a difficult one for Indians to understand... Gee, how I love to rub it in.

To get on with things at home: Jaswant Singh's and Murli Manohar Joshi's retaining their old portfolios was a given -- we've never had a better external affairs minister than Mr Singh, and I've wiped my anti-Joshi slate clean after his IGNCA posse. But Yashwant Sinha's holding Finance and George's keeping Defence was, apparently, floundering. The RSS was said to be opposed to George, and the Ambanis, to Sinha. As usual, these ominous insights were attributed to sources in the BJP. And, as usual, all has come to naught. I'm at the stage where when I spy the word "sources," I immediately move on to the next item -- telling you, that doesn't leave much to read. I still don't get it: WHAT is this need to invent news?? Isn't there enough bedlam without the results of that itch?

Then there was the hullabaloo over the Cyber-CM's not joining the government at the Centre. The Hindustan Times, which has now sacked the reporter who protested against the distortion of his copy on Pramod Mahajan's Monica/Sonia comment, had a deep editorial examining the psyche of the party: "the TDP has always made it clear that it would not like to be too closely associated with the BJP. Its latest decision to decline ministerial berths is a continuation of that policy of keeping the BJP at arm's length... In this context, the TDP cannot be unaware of the impact which too cozy a relationship with the BJP can have on the minority vote."

Believe it or not, the very next day, the same newspaper quoted Chandrababu Naidu saying, "We will continue to support this government for the next five years and even beyond that, upto 15 or 20 years, because we want good governance in the country. We are giving them unconditional support this time so that there can be a more stable government." Last year, the TDP's support was issue-based. This time, Naidu declared, its support would last "forever." I wonder, haven't these editors heard the word "embarrassment" or "shame"...?

Just about everybody has been going on and on about the TDP's refusing ministerial berths. Do you grasp the reasons for their discomfiture? I honestly don't! For once in the history of free India, there emerges a man who ACTUALLY refuses power offered on a platter -- and we spend all our time reading perilous meanings behind it. Instead of celebrating him, we squint at him with suspicion! Can you believe the nadir to which we have sunk?! We've come to trust that anybody who's exclusively interested in doing his job well ("Our foremost interest is to serve our state and, after that, to serve the nation"), has something up his sleeve. This is where 45 years of Congress have brought us. And this is why Mr Naidu would rather mingle with the fundies than with that despicable, rootless, morally-bankrupt and dying party. I may not be a political analyst of any worth, but... my woman's instinct: Mr Naidu is another of Our Men. Always has been.

Speaking of which, Arun Jaitley got the information and broadcasting portfolio. Big *smile*. Looked cute in a Jodhpuri at the swearing-in ceremony, too. Now the fun begins: How will he juggle his personal liberal views from within the tilak-dhaari establishment? How will he tackle film censorship rows? I wait with bated breath. Of one thing we can be certain -- he's in politics for keeps. Arun has written to the Bar Council that "I am no longer a lawyer." The Bar's loss is the BJP's gain.

It's really amazing how transparent some politicians are. The day the JD-U and Lok Shakti thinggie became public, a bunch of my friends, from different walks of life, came up with variations of the same thought: "I don't trust Ramakrishna Hegde. The JD-U is the weak link." Didn't take even a month to prove our fears right. George is already getting the thick end of the stick -- and serves him right, too. I expect tantrums from the Yadav kul next.

The Kaangres Paartee wished the Vajpayee government well (oh help) while shedding tears on the NDA's having "failed to give representation to the Muslim community in the Cabinet." The Pomeranian quoth, "Uvee bhish thee niu gaavermint uvell. Let them haf a good gaavermint... But wun theeng ij noticed that theyr ij no Cabinayt berth phor they Mooshlim caumoonitee." It seems, whenever the Congress formed the gaavermint, at least one Muslim was lodged in the Cabinet. I haven't checked the records to see if this is true. Why would I?? One, I strongly oppose reservations of any sort, including those for women. Two, is there any reason why the BJP should indulge a community when it has striven en bloc to defeat the party? Three, I shan't dignify this blatantly insidious remark by taking it seriously.

My pal Gopi had a cute postscript to the Ambulance Chaser's threats to psepholgists who conducted the exit polls. If you recall, Sibal wanted the pollsters to undergo some kind of penalization should their projections be wrong (they were all wrong, BTW: the party notched far less seats than predicted). Gopi asks, "Since his own prediction of the Congress emerging as the largest party has been proved as nothing but hot air, what punishment should be meted out to him? Imagine the loud cries of our media if some Parivari had issued similar threats. But I haven't seen a single editor or columnist write on this from the 'freedom of the Press' aspect."

Some more unfailing predictions: In his article 'Flawed leadership' in The Indian Express of 30 March, Kuldip Nayar declared, "...there is no uncertainty about the Congress coming to power after the general election. It is, however, ironical that there is not a single state which the BJP can claim to be safe. Rajasthan and Delhi, its strongholds, have gone. It looks as if it is losing Gujarat as well as Maharashtra... It is not difficult to guess that the Congress will win at least 200 seats in the next Lok Sabha election, increasing its present strength of 140 by 60 more members. The BJP may not reach even the three digit figure it has at present (180)... Sonia may do better for the Congress." Mr Nayar has been predicting a fall in the BJP's strength in each election since 1996. Some people take him seriously.

The most entertaining stories of the week were those devoted to the Shroud's chamchas. Depending on the paper, these are called "coterie," "loyalists," "supporters" or "close advisors." I think "coven" suits them best -- as in, Double, double toil and trouble / Fire burn and cauldron bubble. First there was their orchestrated resignation scheme for the general secretaries. The whole point of the exercise was that the resignations wouldn't be accepted -- thereby sending the message that the Shroud's shouldn't be expected or accepted, either. Then there was the "statement campaign," with Mani Shankar Aiyer and Friends shooting off signed statements urging her to "lead from the front" by becoming Leader of the Opposition. It was a grand success: Pilot, Digvijay and Co were beaten into silence, and there won't be any opposition to her seizing whatever post.

Not that Sonia should derive comfort from this victory. There's still the court direction in the IGNCA case. Once she's LOP, that gives a leverage to her rivals to force her out of it, like Narasimha Rao was after being brought to trial in corruption cases. All that the secret legion is waiting for is a chance to completely discredit her. Lip service on moral responsibility is of zero value. The only remedy for the Congress is for The Family to go on vaanaprasthashram. That, fortunately, isn't gonna happen...

Meanwhile, the talk of the day is the Trishanku government of Maharashtra -- poor thing's still swinging from fundie pillar to CM post. Once again, nobody has any clue about what's going to happen. Opinions, of course, are free. I may as well add mine to that garbage pile (have to give Sai a chance to rub my face in the mud, it's a seduction ploy): Methinks, the NCP will support the fundies because Sangma will prevail on Pawar. Perhaps, the whole can't-agree drama is just that - a masque to lull secularists. Sharadrao wants to be "a king in Bharat," and the BJP can ensure that. It's all about a room at the top... But tell me, don't you think Balasaheb has come out of all this smelling of roses...?

Varsha Bhosle