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Wanna lose weight? Take a trip on Indian Rail!

Overcrowding. Unsanitary conditions. Unpunctuality. Rudeness. High accident rates. That sums up the working of the Indian Railways. During a recent ten-day holiday to the South where I spent a lot of time on trains I discovered a new feature about our trains.

The Indian Railways takes very good care of its passengers' health, particularly in the case of overweight people who needed to be careful with their diets. Thanks to the Indian Railways, passengers do not overeat, and step down from the trains, slim, trim and full of vim. Of course, they lose some money in the process, but then health is better than wealth.

I was one of those who benefitted from this unusual health scheme. Travelling by the New Delhi -Thiruvananthapuram Rajdhani Express, which we boarded at Panvel about 60 kms from Mumbai, we did not take any food with us because the Rajdhani fares includes breakfast, lunch, dinner and occasional snacks. I mean, that was what we presumed. With the train running eight hours late we had to spend nearly 25 hours aboard rather than the scheduled 17 hours.

I am always hungry when I travel by train. Since the Rajdhani is the pride and joy of the Indian Railways, I expected hot five course meals and tasty snacks throughout the trip. But I had not taken into consideration the 'health consciousness' Railways. Since the train arrived four-and-a-half hours late at Panvel, the schedule for meals was upset. Around 10 am, we were served ice cold toast and omelette for breakfast. The coffee was nothing but warm water, and I could have used it for shaving.

According to the existing arrangement, meals for Rajdhani passengers are kept ready at certain fixed stations. If the trains run late, the entire system collapses. Normally, lunch is served at Ratnagiri. After the skimpy breakfast, I was looking forward to a wholesome lunch. But as the train continued to run late, Ratnagiri seemed far, far away. Finally, we halted at Ratnagiri at 4 pm and the lunch arrived. Though we had indicated our preferences for non-vegetarian food, the Railways served us cold puris, dal and rice. The gooey-gooey substance which was served in a dirty dish had a most peculiar smell. That was our 'dessert', but no one touched it. Mind you, there was no vegetable dish either!

Now, December is the time when vegetables are available in plenty, but the Railways caterer had different ideas. But then if Railway Minister Nitish Kumar is determined that we should not overeat, how can anyone complain about the quality and quantity of the food?

The Rajdhani Express ran on the Konkan Railway route. We had been told that the commissioning of the Konkan Railway was a remarkable technical achievement. There was so much technology around that the platforms at the few stations where the train halted had no stalls for snacks or fruit. In its obsession for technology, the railway authorities had forgotten about the need to feed passengers. We halted at Sawantwadi, Madgaon and other stations but the platforms were near-empty. Nothing to eat or drink, but then we were being put on a strict diet!

As the train continued to run late, we were informed by the apologetic caterer that this was responsible for the near-starvation conditions. Many children in our coach began to cry. Their parents too had not packed any food because of their faith in the catering abilities on the Rajdhani Express. The caterer assured us that dinner would be a sumptuous affair with chicken curry and what not. Of course, he did not tell us when it would be served.

We yawned. Our tummies grumbled. As the evening passed, there was neither tea or coffee for the passengers. Around 7 pm, some bearers began to pass small packets covered with aluminium foil. The people in front of us got these packages which contained vegetable pulav, but we were ignored. "These are for children," one of the bearers informed us. "They feel more hungry and we managed to rustle up the pulav in the pantry car. There isn't enough to go around to all the passengers." But we got two packets (for the family of three) when my wife warned the bearer that she was a child at heart and if denied the pulav, would sit on the floor and howl! Yes, sometimes, she does come out with the most original ideas.

8, 9, 10, 11 pm and still no dinner! The food finally arrived around midnight, but again we were in for some surprises. The promised chicken curry never arrived. Instead we were served cold rice, dal and egg curry. But it tasted divine. As Wodehouse used to say, the eggs must have come from happy, contended hens.

Our journey was coming to an end, because we had to get down at Cochin. The unfortunate passengers booked up to Thiruvananthapuram had to endure further misery. There was to be no breakfast, not even tea or coffee. By the time, the train reached Thiruvananthapuram, there may have been starvation deaths.

At Cochin, we stumbled out of the train. I weighed myself at the station. I had lost four kgs -- a feat I had not been able to achieve despite my frequent bouts of dieting. My wife and daughter refused to weigh themselves, saying that would not be the right way to begin a holiday. Thanks to the Rajdhani Express, I am slim, trim and raring to go. Thank you, Nitish Kumar!

V Gangadhar

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