ELECTIONS '98
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If the Chinese can fund Clinton's campaign...

Out of the blue, India suddenly refuses to buy the polio vaccine from Russia. I only hope that India is not going to buy the same vaccine from the Western Nation, which recently applied sanctions on us. When we buy vaccine with our money I don't think the WHO has any right to tell us who to buy it from. The Russians it seems are dismayed, poor guys -- despite their long relationship with us, they still don't know that in India to clear bottlenecks all you have to do is bribe.

And our other neighbour Bangladesh is angry that we are fencing the border. It seems that good neighbours do not get their border fenced. I wish somebody would tell the Bangladeshis that good neighbours always come in through the gate and not over the fence.

In a recent function to release a book by the transport minister guess what the Tamil Nadu chief minister said? It seems a book written by his nephew Murasoli Maran, History of the Dravidian Movement , should be translated into English so that it reaches a wider audience. Tsk, tsk... so his nephew's book has to reach a wider audience while the rest of Tamil Nadu must remain in the narrow audience and learn only Tamil!?

The last few months we had Jayalalitha and Karunanidhi trading insults in the morning papers. These days we have Jayalalitha and Petroleum Minister Vazhapadi Ramamoorthy trading insults. Either way Jayalalitha stays in the news. I wonder what journalists would do without her.

And while on Jayalalitha she has deputed Union Minister M R Janardhan to study the flood situation in south Tamil Nadu -- this when Parliament is in session and discussing important bills such as the women's reservation, IRA and the patent bill. Or is it that her minister carries no weight in Parliament?

This year the food subsidy is going to cross 100 billion. I wish the government would use some of these billions to build 'cold storage godowns' in every district. If the farmer could preserve his harvest, and sell at a good price, he wouldn't need the subsidy. Simple ideas of course never appeal to the convoluted minds of our powers that be.

BJP firebrand Uma Bharathi says that she prays in church when she goes abroad. Would help if she prayed in church here also. May be she will learn to respect her fellow worshippers.

The Bahrain high court has frozen the liquid assets of the Canara Bank in the Gulf Emirates. This is deplorable. The Canara is a National Bank. It is owned by the Government of India. The government should take immediate remedial actions before other countries follow suit, Laaj Rakho!Yashwant Sinhaji.

In Hyderabad, the Canadian High Commissioner Peter Walker asked a gathering of local entrepreneurs whether Chandrababu Naidu would win the next election. Once he finds out this all important fact, wonder what the high commissioner will do? Is he planning to finance Naidu's next election? If the Chinese can fund Clinton's campaign, can the Canadian's fund Naidu's campaign? I don't know.

While on Naidu, guess what his dear speaker Balayogi did in Parliament? He admonished Congress member Ajit Yogi for looking repeatedly at the press gallery. Strange, isn't it? In the very same Parliament you are allowed to accept bribes to vote. You can snatch bills from ministers and play hide and seek, you can pull people by their collars -- but you mustn't look at the press gallery.

Union Minister Ram Naik is going to raise the MP local area development fund from 10 million to 20 million. Absolutely unnecessary because most of these funds are lying unused. Is somebody up there trying to increases the longevity of the government by buttering the MPs? The first 10 million came when P V Narasimha Rao was facing a no-confidence vote.

The World Dams Council couldn't meet in Gujarat. Pakistan cannot play cricket in Maharasthra. For the Miss World contest the swimsuit 'part' couldn't be held in Bangalore. We are not allowed to see Fire anywhere. Aren't we becoming intolerant as a nation? And the first thing they taught us in Indian philosophy was that Hinduism is the most tolerant religion in the world. I mention this because all the above protestors claim to be protectors of Hinduism.

The Indian Railways is the largest company in the world as far as number of employees are concerned. And the latest development among the employees is a matter of concern. They have started a separate union for the OBC. Sad day in the history of trade unions. I hope the Raja of Manda realises what he has done with Mandal -- the mention is to V P Singh, if you don't know.

According to Finance Minister Yashwant Sinha we are saving 43 billion in pension expenditure by retiring employees at 60 instead of 58. What about the paybill FMji? Between 58-60 you pay the staff their highest possible wages. If you retire them at 58 and appoint new recruits you have money. Needless to remained you that new recruits are paid the lowest possible wages. So stop bullshitting about pension saved.

Cutting across party lines, our dear MPs in the Lok Sabha are going to amend the Constitution. Not for the people -- but to ensure that the House runs uninterrupted for five years. Self preservation so that they can disburse gas and phone connections. I am glad that they didn't think of this earlier. Imagine putting up with Charan Singh, V P Singh, Deve Gowda... and the rest of their ilk for five years. Yuck!

At the Asian Games in Bangkok, swimming coach Sharma refused to allow the women swimmers to participate in the march past. Why such a ridiculous order? Did he think they'll become too tired to swim if they marched around the ground? And this, just when I was concluding that all the weirdos had become politicians!

And a Delhi court is going to proclaim that Rupert Murdoch is an offender for showing obscene scenes on Star Movies. Since the start of this controversy I've been watching Star hopefully and regularly. I still can't figure out why they are suing him.

When I lived in Madras, my street dada(head-hoodlum) was a boy called Babu. One day I saw a real puny guy abusing him repeatedly. I was shocked to see Babu ignoring him. Seeing my puzzled expression Babu said, "If I hit a guy twice, he should at least have the strength to hit me back once." The wisdom of this simple hoodlum stands miles above the action of the US. Just when I was beginning to feel sorry for Clinton he goes and bombs Iraq...

A Ganesh Nadar