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'I'm amazed people have actually seen Terrorist'

Ayesha Dharker in Terrorist Click for bigger pic!

She was just nine when she acted in Roland Joffe's City Of Joy. But what has really given Ayesha Dharker worldwide recognition is her sensitive portrayal of Malli in Santosh Sivan's Terrorist. In fact, she is now included among the new breed of actresses who are committed to meaningful films.

Rather unconventional looking in appearance, Ayesha is just as unconventional about what she wants to do in life -- which, right now, is divided between acting and working in her mother's corporate film-making company.

At the moment, though, Ayesha is basking in the glow of Terrorist and Dev Benegal's Split Wide Open. And, as she told Kanchana Suggu, she is looking forward to the release of Hallmark's Arabian Nights.

What was it about Terrorist that prompted you to accept the role?

Actually, there were two reasons why I did Terrorist. One, the story is very strong, quite unusual actually. Considering that the movie is intensely political, I must say we were very lucky we didn't get into any kind of trouble. And the second reason is Santosh himself. He is unlike any other director I have come across. He is so very particular about his script. His style is experimental. One simply cannot say no to him.

Did you have any kind of expectations from the film?

None at all!!! For me, only the script counts. While I was doing the film, I enjoyed it. I worked real hard. At the end of the day, that's all that's important to me. I did the movie thinking that nobody is going to see it anyway. Maybe it'll be shown on TV once. I'm amazed people have actually seen Terrorist.

Did you undergo any physical training for Terrorist?

Nothing in particular. Just a touch. But I did have certain problems. You know, I would be running through marshy ground and my feet would keep getting stuck because I would be carrying these machine guns, which were so very heavy.

What was playing Malli really like?

It was really an intense role. I had very little dialogue in the movie, so all emotions had to be expressed on the face and through the eyes. There were times when I wanted to scream, but I couldn't do that because it wouldn't be Malli.

Malli is a very calm and brave person. Quite unlike me. I'm a real darpok. I hate pain. When we were shooting for the film, I broke my leg during a scene in which I had to pull a really heavy guy up. The doctors said I wouldn't be able to walk again. And Santosh was absolutely panic-stricken.

Normally I would have screamed, but I guess Malli had some influence on me. I was brave. I was on painkillers for almost quarter of the film, but the shooting went on as scheduled. We actually completed the movie in 20 days.

How would you rate your performance in Terrorist?

I think I'd give myself a six on10.

Are you currently doing any film with Santosh Sivan?

Santosh has offered me three movies in the past three months. He is absolutely eccentric. I wonder how he keeps getting so many ideas. I cannot trust him until he says the shoot is tomorrow. What I really like about Santosh is that he looks into each detail so carefully. His style keeps varying from film to film. Terrorist was a slow film, but Halo was kind of fast.

How different was it working with Dev Benegal?

Dev is amazing. Each character is so finely drawn in his mind. He has some six or seven main characters in his film and he keeps juggling between them. He really approaches his film like an architect. Santosh and Dev are completely different from each other; what's common between them, though, is that they both know exactly what they want.

What role does your director play in your performance?

Oh, I'm absolutely what they call a director's actress. I believe that every character can be played in many different ways. I find it much better when my director tells me exactly what he expects from me. A good director, according to me, is not the one who tells you what to do on your face but the one who tells you what to do in your head.

Attending all those film festivals must have been really great...

The first one that I attended was the Toronto film festival. There were so many big directors with such great films there that I was left wondering whether anyone was going to see our film. But I was completely taken by surprise. People were clapping after seeing our film. We got standing ovations. It was all so strange. There were these long queues of people waiting to see our film.

I must say we got a terrific reception. After the film was shown, we used to have these question-and -answer sessions where members of the audience could question the actors. The whole audience would stay for these sessions. They would ask us so many questions.... about the shoot, the story, etc. It was so sweet of them.

I particularly remember this incident when I was in Paris. A man came to up me and he was crying. He told me that his brother was part of the IRA in Ireland. It was really frightening. I suddenly felt so close to Malli. The experience was spinechilling. These are the times when you really feel fulfilled as an actor.

Ayesha Dharker in Terrorist Click for bigger pic!

Let's talk about Split Wide Open.

Split Wide Open... Well, I did the film because the character I was to play was really interesting. I love characters who change during the course of the film and Lila was like that. I always like playing people who are very different from me and both Lila and Malli were like that. Again, I did not have any expectations from Split Wide Open. I never make any plans since plans only disappoint you.

Do you make enough money doing these kind of films?

Actually, there isn't much money in it. But that's okay. I do such films for my own personal satisfaction. I'm a very selfish actress, you see. In fact, Santosh put his own money into Terrorist.

But, let me tell you, things are really changing these days. One sees mainstream producers putting money into art films and that really suits people like me. Actors like me, Nandita Das, Tara Deshpande, actually stand a chance now.

I don't really have any major ambitions in life. My idea of fun is totally different. For me the character I play is of utmost importance.

Is that why you signed Arabian Nights?

Arabian Nights is nothing but dancing. I play the genie's babe in the movie. It has all these special effects where I am standing on the genie's hand and all that. It was real fun.

Actually I had no plans to do Arabian Nights. My agent fixed up a meeting with the director and I casually met him. I wished him all the best for his movie and all he said to me was that I was in the film.

I did the movie for a lark. It was kind of a joke. It is the biggest Hallmark movie ever made. The cinematographer is the same one who did the cinematography for Elizabeth. It was an amazing set up. Just being a part of the whole thing was so great. It was a fairy tale crew and a fairy tale cast.

I heard you had to take dancing lessons...

I've trained in ballet for 10 years. That really helped me. Ballet is all about attitude. It involves very less technique. In dancing, too, I would give myself a six on 10. I'm my worst critic, you see. Of an audience, there might be just one person who'll criticise you. But you have to account for that one person.

Of the three movies you did recently, which one did you enjoy the most?

I enjoyed each of them in their own different way. But I think I enjoyed Terrorist most of all. I enjoyed the movie for its sheer weirdness. I loved it in terms of the fact that everyone really felt for the film. I consider Terrorist as this little film of ours that made it big. It was like sending your little kid to the school for the first time.

As far as Arabian Nights is concerned, Hallmark is a huge company and we all know that the film will do well.

Coming to Split Wide Open, it has got stars like Rahul Bose and Laila Rouass. Dev Benegal has directed the film. All these factors play an important role.

Ayesha Dharker in Terrorist Click for bigger pic!

How was Ayesha Dharker as a child?

When I was a kid, I had no friends of my age. I used to be in my own little fantasy world. I came across all these people from so many different fields -- writers, sculptors, etc. But one thing I noticed common between all of them was that they all loved what they were doing. They were all so passionate about their work. I'm really thankful to my parents for always letting me follow what I wanted to do in life.

Did that make you experiment with different professions?

I am definitely not a one profession person. When I was nine, I was acting, dancing and singing all at the same time. Now that I have completed my college and university education, I can fully concentrate on my acting. I'm also helping my mom in her production company. She makes corporate films.

That must have been when you made City Of Joy?

I remember that we had to attend an acting school two months before the shoot. We used to have workshops even during the making of the movie. The shooting went on for seven months and it was absolute heaven for me. With Patrick Swayze, Shabana Azmi and Om Puri around me, I really got to learn different styles of acting.

What does all this fame really mean to you?

Fame is like love to me. It comes and goes. But during City Of Joy, when I was only nine, the attention and adulation that I received was a real kick. Today this fame doesn't mean anything to me. And my directors know that too. If you start thinking about all these things, your priorities get mixed up. My aim in life is to make the most of each second.

How does the way you look affect your career?

I know I don't have a very conventional face. When directors come to me with roles, I wonder, "Don't they want someone fair and tall for their movie?" But the fact that they offer these roles to me shows that they think I would suit the role. I've seen heroines so obsessed with their looks. They never tire applying make-up. I really can't handle all that.

What does the future hold for you?

I might do a film a year or no films a year. That really doesn't matter. Anyway, I have Arabian Nights releasing in August, 2000. I'm looking forward to that and a couple of other offers here and there...