What would you do to win your sweetheart's affections?

Romance? Break into song? Send e-cards every day?

That's real life. But a Hindi film hero or heroine is slightly more imaginative (read filmi).

The idea is to portray the hero as larger than life and the heroine as a screen goddess. Always. Even if the story claims to be about regular people.

That explains the hero's urge to jump off the terrace of a tall building till 'she' says yes. Or the heroine's desperation to alter her looks drastically to get 'him' to fall for her.

In a few cases, the hero or heroine turns obsessive. But this lot usually does not influence the impressionable janata.

There, Main Hoon Na has a point.

But Hindi film conditioning is that tomboyish girls will never get guys unless they trade their track suits and sneakers for long hair, traditional outfits and jewellery.

Take Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. Shah Rukh Khan's character considers Kajol one of his boyfriends. Eight years later, when he bumps into a long-haired, sari-clad Kajol, his heart skips a beat.

Bollywood filmmakers have also volunteered to propagate this fact: guys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses. Bespectacled heroines symbolise a well-preserved cliché — docile losers. Remember Juhi Chawla in Aaina? Jackie Shroff prefers Chawla's elder sister Roma (played by Amrita Singh).

But one look at Juhi sans glasses, with long hair and sari, and our man's in love! And in the end he slaps Amrita, saying, "Khubsoorti woh nahi jo aaine mein nazar aaye. Khubsoorti woh hai jo aaine mein nazar na aaye."

What a hypocrite!

First he falls for Amrita's beauty, then he falls for Juhi's looks. It is just his luck that Juhi turns out to be good-hearted as well.

In 1960, there came a film called Love In Simla. A worldly-wise grandmother (Durga Khote) teaches her bespectacled granddaughter (Sadhana) the tricks to lure the guy (Joy Mukherjee). A transformation in her physical appearance is not enough. She also resorts to manipulating and playing games.

But she is the heroine, so it is all in good humour.

Forty-three years later, Parvati Balagopalan repackaged the story into Rules: Pyaar Ka Superhit Formula.

In Kal Ho Naa Ho, Naina Catherine Kapur (Preity Zinta) shoves her glasses when Aman Mathur (SRK) compliments her eyes. (As an aside, Naina might have discarded her glasses, but her Gucci accessory became the 'in' thing among youngsters.)

Changing the way you look because you feel like it is understandable. But to please a person who doesn't notice you otherwise is self-deprecating.

Unlike Munnabhai of Rangeela, not everyone is comfortable in their skins. Even though he dresses shabbily and lives recklessly, he doesn't change his personality or philosophy to get the girl he loves. So if the girl truly likes him, it is not because of who he is but in spite of who he is.

One film that sends the right message is Basu Chatterjee's light-hearted comedy Chhoti Si Baat. It is about an ordinary guy Arun (Amol Palekar). He is extremely low on self-confidence. And his teacher, Colonel Julius Nagendranath Wilfred Singh (Ashok Kumar) pronounces his symptoms: defective verbal communication, improper conditioning, unstable self-evasiveness, and unstable paranoiac frustration.

Arun loves Prabha (Vidya Sinha). But he is painfully shy and unable to express his feelings.

Instead of asking him to get a haircut and a change in wardrobe, the colonel shows him how to win a girl in 10 days by building his confidence and telling him the importance of having an upper hand over others.

He also learns little lessons like:
# Do not scratch your nose and head.
# Meet a person's gaze while making conversation.
# Don't let anyone make a fool of you and get away scot free.
# Have a firm handshake.
# How to distract the opponent while playing table tennis.
# If you don't understand something, say so.
# Eating Chinese food using chopsticks.

Bottom line: It is high time Hindi films stopped presenting actors like demi-gods. They don't have to look great all the time, especially when they are essaying the man on the street. At least then the viewer will relate better to him or her.

Also, let us have more scripts which don't show the heroines rushing for an image change to win the looks-obsessed heroes' hearts!

What say?