Be Warned

Sujata Prakash

What makes an Aussie see red? How much does it take to get Warne to come up with an English phrase the likes of which is seldom heard on cricket fields?

It takes just three lousy runs. Three well-timed runs that were never going to win Zimbabwe the match, but which must have given the batsman a quiet satisfaction at having briefly tamed a master bowler.

The master bowler naturally did not share the sentiment and let his teammates know his personal assessment of the offending batsman. After all this was no Lara or Tendulkar, it was a Carlisle for chrissake!

Clearly Stuart Carlisle was so awed at having riled the great Warne that not only did he not mind being called a 'f***ing arsey c***' but even suggested that the Kiwis were worse. The bemused Kiwis rightly protested at this for no one has been able to come up with proof of a more descriptive quote being used by a player.

And what does Warne feel about the whole thing? Persecuted. That's right mate. The price to pay for being Shane Warne is that you have the whole damned world trying to bring you down. The cameras were bad enough but the stump microphones are something else. Blimey, there's no privacy anymore for a guy indulging in some harmless sledging.

Warne's attitude is hardly surprising but what is is having the Aussie media almost unanimously condemn this latest embarrassment. And they did so with a growing vehemence against one of their biggest stars. That Warne still has a huge fan following is beside the point. That his talent is undisputed matters little. He is no longer the amiable guy he once was. Instead, much to the consternation of many, he has started to epitomize the Ugly Aussie.

Fans down under seem to have had enough of juvenile outbursts and boorish tempers at the slightest provocation. Aggression is all right when one is clawing their way to the top, but once there it's ungraceful to keep it up to such an extreme. It's like seeing the Queen spit in public.

But can the Aussie players change? Can Warne stop abusing the batsmen? Will MacGill curb his inclination to elbow fellow sportsmen who are leaving the ground with dignity? Will Gilchrist cease his incessant goading of players who are minding their own business? Will Kangaroo meat be outlawed in Australia? Not likely, no.

Which is a pity because a slightly softer profile would suit this team better. Now vying with the '84 West Indians for the 'Best in the world' crown, they would do well to emulate the Carribeans of that era who relied more on fierce body language and less on fiercely dirty language.

India is the last frontier for the Aussies to conquer. The world and its mother will be watching what promises to be an excellent series in every way. The cameras will be focused and the stump microphone will undoubtedly be straining to pick up whatever it can from the other. It should be interesting to see and hear Warne's reaction if he sees the ball sailing over once too often.