Of need and greed

I remember reading about this guy who kidnapped and robbed a lot of people - but not before torturing them in gruesome ways, and stripping them of all dignity before awarding them the mercy of death.

And I remember thinking at the time, 'Why??!!'

Of course there was, is, no answer. I doubt if even the criminal concerned could give us one.

Yesterday, I read a report on tehelka.com, which purports to reveal at least a part of a leading Indian cricketer's supposed earnings. And again, I was tempted to ask, 'Why?!'. Again, I find myself wondering, does anyone -- including the player himself -- have any answers?

How many zeroes does a man need against his name in the bank account, before he feels secure? How many zeroes does it take before zeroes lose their meaning, before money -- the making of it, rather -- stops becoming the be all and end all of existence?

Money can buy goodies -- flashy cars, flashier suits and watches, duplex apartments, holiday homes... But how many of them can they buy? And how many of them do you need? You can drive in one car. You could use two, even three. But after that? How does a fourth flashy car help add to your sense of well being?

I don't want to comment about the story I read, I don't want to speculate on whether it is true or no. There is an investigation on, and hopefully, it will in time reveal the various truths. When it does, is time enough for me.

But I find myself going back to that central question. Why? Wherefore?

You earn a lot of money. And then you earn even more. And you get to where you can buy whatever you want. You can even buy what you don't even want -- buying can, as the more compulsive shoppers among us can tell you, be a high in itself.

And it's a great feeling, this -- to be able to buy anything you want.

You and I would love to be able to do that. To buy anything we want. But you and I would love even more, give even more, to be able to get what these players are given sans the asking -- love, adulation, respect.

Our sporting stars have the love, the adoration, of an entire nation -- and all the zeroes you pile against your name cannot buy that. It has to be earned by your deeds, it has to be given of our own free will.

And so it was. Given, by us, of our own free will. Our love, our admiration, our respect and regard.

And now, I read this news. And I think, 'Why?'

Wasn't our devotion, our admiration, our respect and affection, enough for you?

It is true what they say, I guess, that there is enough in this universe for everyone's needs, but not enough for one man's greed.

I wish I could ask him. I wish I could put this question to all those who have spurned the love we gave them, in favour of amassing wealth they know not what to do with.

The worst part of this is, such pettiness by public figures finally sparks pettiness in yourself. I guess it shouldn't matter how much he gave to Imran Khan's hospital and how much he gave to Kargil -- but I find myself wondering, why the bias, why 2 crore to Imran, 5 lakh to Kargil? Why such a public, hyped, donation to Kargil, while the one to Imran's hospital was done on the q.t?

I find these questions coming to mind -- and I wish they didn't. That I didn't think that way. I guess this is what we are reduced to, in the end.

Greed. How does a beautiful face hide such an ugly secret so well?

As a woman, I wish I could ask Sangita, 'Why did you let it happen? And how could you sleep in peace, knowing that the roof over your head was not bricks and mortar but the concrete proof of your having plumbed the depths?!'